this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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