I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
