This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My bed smells like the plague
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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