Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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