Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
as a side note pls kill me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
