I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
