i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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