So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
