if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
