I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
