life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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