I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize