Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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