Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
