Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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