I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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