That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
you made out with another girl for some wings
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
