We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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