girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
