I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize