maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
organizing the empties. That sober.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Found your dick twin last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
