chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
