the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I want a musical about memes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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