I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
