I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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