I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
