I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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