what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish there were birth control emojis
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
