i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
