dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
