Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
