Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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