There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
