Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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