I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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