sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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