I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
