She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
