Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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