laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
