yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
