you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.