If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she looked like the before picture.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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