I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
