I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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