You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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