im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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