her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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