im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My liver just had a heart attack.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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