its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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