And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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