I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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