i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
