I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
