I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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