i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Blood and glitter go together right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
